Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
