1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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