Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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