And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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