It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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