can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
