i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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