Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
