Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
