the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
