I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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