This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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