so explain again why im purple
no
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
