I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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