Best friends brother. Beat that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
