I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
