the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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