It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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