Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
