got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
