Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Randomize
