at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize