I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
