I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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