I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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