I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
