you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
