since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
