He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
