i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
