i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
