So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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