So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
50% drunk capacity currently
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
