Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
