Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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