I smell stomach acid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Help. Why am I so naked?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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