Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
BRING THE BAGELS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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