I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
