I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
