It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize