hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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