I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
