What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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