I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
