We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Randomize
