Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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