K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
