Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Let's get the cat blown out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize