Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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