also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
