are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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