I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
