if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
