That's intense
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
