Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
