why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
