I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
