i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
