All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
