The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
