It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
