This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
