I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Only a mothe r could love this liver
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
