And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
