Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I love you. Go after that dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
