So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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