Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
