no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Two words: blizzard sex
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
